The Style Invitational Week 955: Twits’ Twist
By Pat Myers, Friday, January 20, 5:15 AM
Meteor remote: It lets a couch potato
repel falling space junk without getting off his fat asteroid.
Inspired by the word-pairing
challenge of Week 951, whose results run this week, Loser Ann Martin suggests a
variant: This week: Create a phrase by combining a word or phrase with an
anagram of that word or phrase, and define or describe it, as in our artist Bob
Staake’s very Bobbian example above. The anagram of a single word may be a
multi-word phrase, or vice versa.
Winner gets the Inker, the
official Style Invitational trophy. Second place receives a 2012 Talking
Fortune Teller calendar — a large wall-hanger with two buttons that call forth
various male and female predictions that are about as daring as a blue blazer
and khaki pants at a D.C. budget hearing (e.g., “The odds are in your favor —
if your intention is clear”). Donated by the Style section’s Donna Peremes, who
bought it but said it had started to “creep me out.” Donna is easily creeped
out, clearly.
Other runners-up win their
choice of a coveted Style Invitational Loser T-shirt or yearned-for Loser Mug.
Honorable mentions get a lusted-after Loser magnet. First Offenders get a
tree-shaped air “freshener” (FirStink for their first ink). E-mail entries to
losers@washpost.com or fax to 202-334-4312. Deadline is Monday, Jan. 30;
results published Feb. 19 (Feb. 17 online). No more than 25 entries per entrant
per week. Include “Week 955” in your e-mail subject line or it may be ignored
as spam. Include your real name, postal address and phone number with your
entry. See contest rules and guidelines at
washingtonpost.com/styleinvitational. The revised title for next week was
submitted by both Tom Witte and Dave Prevar; the subhead for this week’s
honorable mentions is by Tom Witte. Join the Style Invitational Devotees on
Facebook at on.fb.me/invdev.
Report from Week 951, in which we asked you to pair a word with the same word (or the same
spelling) or with a homophone — a differently spelled word that sounds the same
— and define the resulting phrase. Because the Empress has absolute power
niftily combined with Always Knowing What’s Best, she decided also to allow a
word to be “paired” with a multi-word phrase, and for two multi-word phrases.
If you disapprove of the violators, please do not be amused by them.
The winner of the Inker
Fact shun faction: The Fox
News Channel lineup. (Kathy Hardis Fraeman, Olney, Md.)
2. Winner of the Dear Leader
Tongue Scraper, picturing Kim Jong-Il on the package: Auntie-dote antidote:
Spray to ward off smoochy relatives. (Ann Martin, Bracknell, England)
3. Caucasus caucuses:
“Everyone who favor Oleg, line up in this corner over here. Everyone who favor
other guys, line up in front of open pit.” (Mike Gips, Bethesda, Md.)
4. Ta-ta ta-ta: Breast
reduction. (Dion Black, Washington)
Nixed doubles: honorable mentions
Airline err line: The
lost-luggage counter. (Kathy Hardis Fraeman)
Ark arc: A rainbow. (Jason
Talbott, Pendleton, Ore., a First Offender)
Awful offal:What sweetbreads
look like the moment you realize they are neither sweet nor bread. (Nandini
Lal, Bethesda, Md.)
Aye eye: A come-hither look.
(Brad Alexander, Wanneroo, Australia; Kevin Dopart, Washington)
Baskin-Robbins’ Baskin’
Robins:A failed ice cream flavor that tasted like warm feathers. (Elden
Carnahan, Laurel, Md.)
Boll Bowl: Football game
where at halftime the crowd sings “Weevil weevil rock you!” (Christopher
Lamora, Guatemala City)
Boring boring: Uninspired
adult movies. (Rob Huffman, Fredericksburg, Va.)
Bris squawk brisk walk: What
many a new father has to do as soon as the ceremony is completed. (Nan Reiner,
Alexandria, Va.)
Bunga bunga: I tink you say
in English “executive privilege.” — S. Berlusconi (Roger Carignan, Guatemala
City, a First Offender)
Butte beaut: Montana Hannah.
(Melissa Balmain, Rochester, N.Y.)
Dip-thong diphthong: Yeow!
That’s a low bikini! (J.D. Berry, Springfield, Va.)
Does does: Gets carried away
at the stag party. (Lois Douthitt, Arlington. Va.)
Faux foe: The charmingly
annoying co-star at the beginning of any romantic comedy. (Jeff Brechlin,
Eagan, Minn.)
Faux tow photo: Car insurance
fraud. (Beverley Sharp, Montgomery, Ala.)
Feted-fetid: The career trajectory
of many a politician. (Stephen Gold, Glasgow, Scotland)
Fly fly: A really tiny
zipper. (Ron Averyt, Severna Park, Md.)
Gilt guilt: What the top 1
percent don’t suffer from. (Harvey Smith, McLean, Va.)
Hangover hang-over:
Traditional position at the porcelain throne. (Craig Dykstra, Centreville, Va.)
Jerk in jerkin: Unavoidable
sight at every Renaissance festival. (Kevin Dopart)
Junk junk: To undergo sex
reassignment surgery. (Brad Alexander)
Kraft craft: The ancient art
of turning cheese into plastic. (Stephen Gold)
Leek leak: It refreshes, but
lacks that fine bouquet of an asparagus whiz. (Roy Ashley, Washington)
Minor miner: Newt Gingrich’s
plan to help Appalachian families out of poverty. (Kathye Hamilton, Annandale,
Va.)
Mitt mitt: The glove
reluctantly selected from the dugout because all the others were missing, had
huge holes, or were burned up. (Jon Hensley, Washington, a First Offender)
Mount Mount: The highest
point on Lovers’ Lane. (Nick Laflamme, Austin)
Moo muu: Muumuu. (Brian
Cohen, Potomac, Md.)
Putin pootin’: For 10 years
it didn’t even smell. (Steve Offutt, Arlington, Va.)
Stayed staid: Calvin
Coolidge’s most notable achievement. (Dixon Wragg, Santa Rosa, Calif.)
Styx sticks: Oars. (Beverley
Sharp)
Staake Stack: A pile of
cartoons in your bathroom, for reading and them, um, repurposing. (Bill
Verkuilen, Brooklyn Park, Minn.)
Sundae Sunday:The Mama Cass
song that never reached the charts. (Dave Komornik, Danville, Va.)
Tex texts techs: What a
cowboy does when his iPod isn’t working properly. (Neal Starkman, Seattle)
Toilet toylet: A fixture in
Barbie’s Dream House. (Barry Sackin, Murrieta, Ga., a First Offender)
Toto toe tow: How to get
Dorothy across the Field of Poppies. (Ann Martin)
And Last:
Verses versus verses: The Style Invitational limerick competitions. (Robert
Schechter, Dix Hills, N.Y.)
And Even Laster: Losing Loo Zing: New air-freshener prize for First Offenders. (Ann
Martin)
Next week: Dead Letters, or Hearsery Rhymes